0213 Various Artists [Bluebird's Christmas Pudding] MP3 320 18(52.19)

This is not a serious musical contribution and it’s not very Christmassy either.

But it’s party time, so let your hair down but if you have no hair and your party days are over, then a glass of Sanatogen and a Ginger Nut might fill the bill just as well.

Looking out of my window on a rainy August afternoon (yes, like all good programmers we do plan well ahead) I have decided to suspend my critical judgement for one day only to bring you some jazz, some near jazz and some nowhere near jazz for your seasonal enjoyment. It will help fill that torpid hour after Christmas lunch.

The programme includes bizarre, unusual, amusing and sometimes quite beautiful music and I have taken liberties with dates and the nationality of musicians in a few cases but I’m sure those lovely people at BritJazz will indulge me just this once. (Where’s your Christmas Spirit BritJazz?)

In most cases I have not given information about titles, musicians etc so it’s up to you.

And when you’ve finished, you can colour the Christmas Pudding picture.

Answers on a postcard please but don’t bother sending them. Now go and print this out before listening.

TRACK 1

This is by a pair of brothers (do I mean that? How many brothers are there in a pair? Four? No, just two) and they play a tune I always associate with Spike Jones and His City Slickers. I wonder why? Who are the brothers?

TRACK 2

Think Michael Caine. Think Minis. Peter King gets a credit for the tenor solo but it’s not him. Who is it and what’s the film in which the tune features?

TRACK 3

Big, blonde and busty. Not Marilyn M. but I spy something beginning with D. Who is she? The Wally Stott Orchestra provides the backing.

TRACK 4

This is the girlfriend of Roger’s psychiatrist. Buddy Featherstonehaugh is on baritone and there is a terrible tenor solo. Could it be a very young Bobby Wellins? No other musicians apart from the leader are identified on this BBC broadcast. What’s the tune?

TRACK 5

‘Blues for 8’ by Harry Parry. Tommy Pollard is named as on piano but then he seems to play his solo on another instrument altogether. What is it? A celeste or harpsichord? I think it’s a tinky-tonk.

TRACK 6

This almost unknown American singer came to the UK in the mid 1950s, made a couple of pop records and then 4 jazz sides with a Harry Klein small group including Dill Jones on piano. No other musicians are identified.

Here is one of those sides by her. She then disappeared from view, at least in this country.

Anybody heard of Cynthia Lanagan? No, I thought not.

TRACK 7

This is a track by a Chris Barber Band. Chris has been in the music business for so long that he has played with every known musician living or dead. Here’s two of them (live at the time but dead now), playing trumpet and tenor sax, who you would not normally associate with him. The trumpet is only heard in ensemble. Any ideas, at least about the tenor player?

TRACK 8

This is where the knicker elastic (underpants for our American cousins) of BritJazz gets stretched to breaking point. The musicians are American but there is a British connection so that’s alright isn’t it?

The tune was composed by Royalty for Royalty after a concert by the Royal Orchestra in Leeds, where I was born (in the Town not at the concert) and only a single record of the music from which this tune was taken was pressed at the time for the special recipient. It was only released commercially after the composer’s death. Simply gorgeous. Tune title, composer and the Suite from which it was taken?

TRACK 9

No living creatures were harmed during the making of this record but the piano player’s reputation must have taken a bit of a battering. It’s one I guess he would not like to be reminded about. No wonder he is on the label as Sam Tacit.

If Simon Spillett reads this then ask Clark to remind his Dad about it just to wind him up. The tune is ‘Happy Little Caterpillar’. The B-side or should that be the Z side has the tune ‘Skippy’ on it. Name and shame the pianist.

Actually, having played it a few times during the preparation for this, it’s beginning to grow on me. Help!

TRACK 10

This tune features Art Ellefson on alto sax, Art Ellefson on tenor sax, Art Ellefson on baritone sax with special guest Art Ellefson on bass clarinet – well it saves on session fees.

I hope he didn’t play them all at once otherwise he would have had a very sore mouth.

Art was an honorary Brit having stayed here for so long but what is his true nationality?

TRACK 11

Firstly, a little geography lesson and a bit of social history.

Yorkshire (The White Rose County) is the biggest and best County in England, and probably in the World. It’s known by everyone as ‘God’s Own Country’ and it includes the Peoples Republic Of South Yorkshire, a semi-autonomous State. For American readers it’s comparable to Texas.

Now to the music. This is the Yorkshire National Anthem played by a group of expatriates living in America. I went to school in the Town named in the title, which is of no relevance whatsoever. The tune title is actually in the Yorkshire language so you need to identify the tune and then translate it into English.

The pianist is very well known to ‘jazzman’ and although British by birth is now resident in the USA.

If you get tune title, translation and pianist right then BritJazz has agreed to issue a limited number of Yorkshire passports to the winners.

TRACK 12

I mentioned the word bizarre somewhere in the introduction and here it is. This British born singer’s first recording although one might be hard pressed to describe it as singing. Recorded in Paris with a Jacques Dieval group. If there was a tune title ‘Forgettable’ then this would qualify admirably. It’s actually called ‘Le Vent Vert’. Was it some kind of musical joke?

Who’s the ‘singer’? A big pal of Dave Lambert.

TRACK 13

What can be more British than this?

If you don’t know the title then you must have been locked up somewhere for many years. John Barry plays it and originally claimed composer rights. After a long legal battle the true composer emerged as Monty Norman who probably lived well on the royalties for the rest of his life.

Do you really not know the tune title? It’s got a ‘B’ for BritJazz in it.

TRACK 14

This tune’s not quite in the ‘Caterpillar’ class but it appeared on an old Ember album called ‘Teenage Dance Party’ with the tenor player seeking anonymity. Recently rescued from the skip (dumpster) and polished up for the jazz market with his name now in lights.

It’s the Little John Anthony Band with Little John himself on drums (Tony Crombie), Ashley Kozak on bass and a rather nice pianist and guitarist who are not identified.

Who is the tenor player?

TRACK 15

Composer and pianist Harry South wrote this for a very well known and long running TV series in the UK. The opening theme is better known but this is the closing version.

Title?

TRACK 16

It’s all talk but who is he? He had a very nasty friend called ‘Old Evil’.

TRACK 17

Here are two entries for the shortest ‘tunes’ ever written.

The first is by bassist Johnny Hawkesworth, and not many people know that. It consists of just eight notes or chords. It really was so well known on UK TV at the time but I bet you’ve forgotten it now.

The second is a vocal announced as ‘ XX XX Sings George Gershwin’. If yewsta reads this he might recognize the voice.

So, title for the first and singer for the second. They run on together for all of 14 seconds.

TRACK 18

Well, we had to have a nod towards Christmas in this compilation and the BritJazz knicker elastic is stretched to the limits once more.

Not a Brit in sight but Bing takes the Bird to Berlin. See – all Bs. And the pianist Al Haig visited the UK many times and we had a few chats (name-dropper).

Who’s the alto player? Bonus points if you get the announcer too.

If you don’t know the alto player then go and stand in the corner with the dunce’s cap on.

All will be revealed in a future post.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Note: The first few comments which look as if made by Britjazz are actually bluebird's.

BLUEBIRD’S CHRISTMAS PUDDING

ALL IS REVEALED

1. The Christie Brothers, Ian and Keith. The add-on is by Spike Jones who really has to be seen rather than heard.

2. The tenor solo is by Tubby Hayes and the film is ‘The Italian Job’.

3. The singer is Diana Dors who did a fine job on what was her only lp.

4. The tune is ‘The Sweetheart Of Sigmund Freud’ one of the greatest song titles ever.

5. You decide.

6. As Eric Morecambe used to say ‘There’s no answer to that’.

7. Jimmy Deuchar on trumpet is heard in the ensemble and Ronnie Scott takes the tenor solo.

8. Duke Ellington composed and plays the tune ‘Single Petal Of A Rose’ from the Queen’s Suite written in honour of Queen Elizabeth after the Duke played in her presence at the 1958 Leeds Music Festival. Duke recorded the six-part Suite in 1959 and had a single copy pressed for the Queen. It was not commercially released until 1976 after his death.

9. Stan Tracey.

10. Canadian.

11. The tune is ‘Ilkley Moor Baht ‘At’ which translates as ‘Ilkley Moor Without A Hat’. The pianist is Derek Smith.

12. Annie Ross.

13. James Bond Theme.

14. Tubby Hayes.

15. The Sweeney.

16. Phil Seamen. Phil, a long term heroin addict, referred to his habit as ‘Old Evil’

17. ‘Salute to Thames’ which was the Station ID for Thames Television. The singer is Peter Sellars.

18. Charlie Parker is the alto player. ‘Symphony Sid’ Torin is the MC

So how did you do? Not very well? Never mind , just sit back and enjoy the music. BritJazz has assured me that I won't get a return engagement.

Anyway, the judges have been up all night to count the votes and BritJazz is able to announce the winners in true Miss World reverse order.

3rd Prize goes to 'the jazzman'. He gave one correct answer (he only answered one - no stamina these Americans) and his prize is a luxury tented weekend in Afghanistan kindly donated by the 116th Infantry Brigade. BritJazz will not be offended if he decides to give this prize to someone else.

2nd Prize goes to 'yewsta' who staggered along the whole way and got a few right. His prize is a set of tuned belles played by the legendary Edith Rhodes and Her Hot Trio at the Hollywood Bowl in 1946. Edward Seagoon played maracas.

And the Winner is, unsurprisingly, 'bluebird' who got all the correct answers. He wins a red plastic replica of Buddy Bolden's saxophone mouthpiece (you didn't know he also played saxophone did you?) and a ten minute rummage in the jazzman's famed garage with all he can carry away.

Thanks to all who might have read all this nonsense. I hope it raised perhaps just a small smile in these hard times.

bluebird